St. Patricks Day...

St. Patricks Day... perhaps the only day of the year that makes me miss home.  I miss my friends, the familiar accents & easy banter, the wide open spaces filled with green green grass, and fields full of sheep, cows and horses.  I miss the smiles and hellos from complete strangers as you walk down the street, and the easiness of our public transportation.  Trains every 10 minutes, bus stops all over the place.  I miss that people think nothing of walking a mile or two to the shop and back.  I miss the home cooked meals... it's hard to find a good home cooked meal in the U.S.    I miss junk food, like real Cadbury chocolate, Double Deckers, Crunchies, cheese and onion McCoy crisps, Pickled Onion monster munch, and real sausage & baked beans.

Today, unfortunately is not the only day of the year that I thank my lucky stars that I got out of there.  I hate the depressing gray days that can go on for what seems like an eternity, with that awful drizzle of rain, the gail force winds that can remove slates from roof tops.  I can't stand the dysfunction that seems to lurk everywhere, and the lack of motivation that is prevalent all over Ireland.

It makes me sad that my good memories are starting to fade.  I've been here in the US the same amount of time now that I was born and raised over there, and yet I still can't shake the bad memories.  I can't explain to my husband, or my family, why I won't take a vacation back there.  They just don't get it because I've kept so much suppressed.   They wanna know why I bought a 2nd home in Greece, and not in Ireland.  How do you tell your loved ones about horrific stuff that happened in your childhood, stuff that when it bubbles to the surface of my memory makes the hairs on the back of my  neck prickle, and puts me into a cold sweat.

This post has absolutely nothing to do with this blog, and I get that most of you come here to get your rocks off, but today, I needed to get this off my chest.  I almost wish that *I* hadn't had to take part in group therapy with Julia, as part of her recovery program, because, I'd given myself amnesia about almost everything.

Listening to:  The Tossers - Siobhan, Gaelic Storm - Kiss me I'm Irish, The Script - The end is where I begin, Kid Rock - Run off to LA.