Answering "inquiring minds"..

God you lot are so nosey! I did all very "normal" things today, but yet you still think it's sexy!!?? Well I guess I'm flattered! It was all very mundane, and totally non-dominatrix like ;-)

5.15am Sex with the husband. I think. I was still asleep when he slipped it in. I sleep curled up on my side, with one leg over a pillow. When it got too much to ignore I woke up, turned over, pushed him off of me, and climbed on top. I figured a quick orgasm while our house was still quiet couldn't be a bad start to the day...

6am - Stumbled out of bed to shower. By 6.30am my twins were beating on the bathroom door begging to go to preschool. Got them on the toilet, brushed teeth and hair, and helped them get dressed.. they have so many opinions now, that I've had to offer them "choices" otherwise they wind up looking like total fucktards. They are total nudists at heart, and "getting dressed" takes place at least a dozen times per day. (I thought about posting a pic, but don't want any pervs looking at my naked children).

7am - They wanted bagels, strawberry milk, and scrambled eggs. I figured that sounded good to me too, until I realised that *I* had to make it. Ate breakfast together and watched Dora the Explorer. It was a repeat.

7.30am - It was their first day at preschool and I had to pack their "backpacks" (change of clothes and underwear in case of accidents), and I'd promised to volunteer that morning along with the teacher, and the two para-educators. My son is going to be there 4 days a week due to his special needs & my daughter begged to go too, so I found a 2 hr program twice a week for her to take part in.

7.45am - Toilet time again. They piss and shit alot. The Wonder Pets. Can't fucking stand Ming Ming, a duck with a god damn lisp. How does that teach 2-3year olds to speak properly? Broke up a fight, and saved the dog from a crayon up his nose. While I was using the toilet, and answering 20 questions, one of them pulled up a chair to the fridge door and decided that they wanted more scrambled eggs. So 2 broken eggs on the floor, which the dogs appreciated...

8.30am - Out the door and get them strapped into their carseats. Forgot my wallet had to run back in. During that brief time my daughter took all her clips out of her hair, and my son took off his shoes & emptied his backpack onto the floor. Made it to preschool and God Damn, I could never be a teacher.

11.30am - Left Preschool, and drove through starbucks. God I needed a drink, but figured coffee would have to do. Got them a cup of oatmeal each, and one of those new protein shakes. Have a bunch of decisions to make. We're pretty sure that my husband is going to take a job doing something he loves, which means he can't be in Greece Nov, Dec and Jan like we'd planned. I'm thinking that we're going to move back into the big house in Columbia, but our kids have never lived there. We moved out prior to them.

They've also reached the point where they're outgrowing their toddler beds, and their nurseries. They each have big ideas about "big boy and girl" bedrooms, and we've talked about it ad nauseum, so we (I) decided that we'd go shopping. We started at Pottery Barn. My daughter wanted the Playhouse Loft bed. And a "princess" bedroom. My son didn't want anything they had. He's fixated on bears & dinosaurs. Am racking my brains on what to do to put those two things together.

Next up was Crate and Barrel, and they've outsourced their kids furniture to The Land Of Nod, so we browsed their catalogue. My son chose the full size barn red beadboard bed. I had no idea kids beds plus mattresses were so expensive. At this rate, I'll have to get a job.

They were both a bit perturbed that I wasn't handing over my credit card, and getting the beds wrapped and put into shopping bags.. I explained that we have to choose bedrooms in the house, measure, paint and figure out how much furniture will actually fit in each room. My son thought about throwing a temper tantrum, but thought better of it.

Next up was Lowes and the paint dept. She picked out a hot pink and chartreuse green immediately. I like her taste. He chose sage green. I'm not sure that barn red bed will look good with that, but ok... Bought all the paint, and as I'm paying for it, it dawned on me that *I'm* probably going to have to actually paint the rooms myself, as hubby is full speed on the field in double training sessions, and gym workouts. As I loaded them and all the stuff into the car, I realized it was definitely time for lunch, otherwise we were all going to turn nasty.

1.30pm. Wanted to choke the fucking waitress. Who can't see that two kids are 20 seconds away from a full blown melt down. Couldn't she just take the fucking order immediately. So more talking from my daughter about how she wants to be a princess... yeah she's my daughter all right. She wants one of those "princess canopies" over the bed, and went into great detail about the colour pink..... yawn.... didn't know how much more I could stand.

So we looked. Bed Bath and Beyond, World Market, Linens and Things, Target, Great Beginnings, Buy Buy Baby, Posh Tots.. none of them had it. And I was fucking tired. And meltdowns were in full force. Fighting over a book. Fighting over a blanket. Fighting over two bottles of water. Fighting over the red light that we HAVE to stop at. Did I mention I was fucking tired? Do you know how many times I have to pick them up and put them into their car seats, buckling them in and out? It would have been so much easier to leave the car running outside each shop and run right in and back out again. But that's a no-no.

4.30pm. We headed home. I really wanted a margarita. It was 97 degrees still. Hubby called to find out where we were. He had two hours free and wanted to see us. Thank fuck. I couldn't take another minute. My daughter started singing. "I kissed a girl and I liked it"... that annoyed her brother to no end. So he screamed, and she sang louder. "It felt so wrong, it felt so right"... should an almost 3 year old be singing this? More screaming from her brother.. she was singing too loud for his liking. She thought it was hilarious that he was getting so worked up... "I hope my boyfriend don't mind it"... Give me a gun.

4.45pm. I swear it felt way more than 15 minutes to get home. Hubby chased them around until they fell over exhausted. Maybe 10 minutes later. He brought in everything I'd bought. Comforters, sheet sets, lamps, paint and god knows what else. He was all dirty, sweaty and fucked up looking, soooo of course that led to us fucking like rabbits on the kitchen counter while the kids slept on the couch.

5.15pm Phone rang. It was Rachel. I told her we were busy. She kept talking. While I was getting it from behind over the counter I explained what I'd been looking for all day. She told me to load the kids up, pick her up and go to Ikea. SO.... I pulled my shorts back up from my ankles, put my flip-flops back on (God my feet are fucking dirty today), and realised my kids weren't on the couch anymore. They were naked, and riding a dog. Those poor dogs. I swear, they take so much abuse. Got them re-dressed, and loaded into the car.

6.30pm. Checked them into the "daycare" center at Ikea. Had almost 45 minutes of mindnumbing nothingness.. it was great, until the pager started going off, and wouldn't stop until I got back to the kids area. My daughter had had an accident. She'd shat herself. And she was still sitting in it. Ooooh fuck. Had to throw her undies in the bin, and wash her arse in the sink.

7.30pm. Had dinner at Ikea. It was actually kinda good. They actually ate everything on their plate, and played in the toy area while Rachel and I chatted.

9.30pm. Got home. Got them in the bath. Got them into their PJ's, and into bed.

10.15pm. No stories tonight. I can't take another minute of it. Hubby is still not home.

So there you have it... blow by blow... fucking uninteresting, mind numbing boring shit.

Hubby finally got home at 10.30pm, and he wants to watch McCain. He's a republican. My husband I mean. I don't know what the hell I am. Some of the stuff they say I totally believe in and want to believe them when they say they'll make a smaller government... BUT, I can't take the whole reversing Roe vs Wade, or telling any woman what she should or should not do with her own body. I'm also all for stem cell research. And gay marriage. And kinky sex / porn. And I know the difference between Iran and Iraq and Afghanistan. It doesn't really matter though, cause I can't vote. I'm not a US Citizen.

Uuugggh, it's been a very long day. I think I'm going to bed with the husband, and hope I haven't blown my whole "Tough, bitchy, Dominatrix persona" ;-) LMAO. Actually I'm going to shower, and wash my dirty black feet, slip into a bustier, thigh highs and high heels, and climb into bed ride his face, and then fuck his brains out. Hopefully he hasn't showered yet.

Goodnight ;-)